I promised to post on here at least once a week, and since it’s now 7 days since I last published anything, I wanted to come on today and do an honest check-in/chat about life.

As you will have noticed since my last few posts, life definitely hasn’t been easy lately. I’m very much still processing and working through grief. I don’t want to chat about that too much on todays post, because I want to write more about my journey with grief at a later date. It’s a feeling I’ve never experienced as an adult before, and I feel like I’ve had my eyes woken up to how many layers there is to it. It’s not a linear process and you can have 500 different feelings in just one day. But as I said, that’s for another time.

I’m writing this on a Monday afternoon (so you really are getting it freshly squeezed) and I’ve had a really good weekend with family celebrating my sisters birthday. Although now I am feeling super tired due to all the social occasions. I mentioned this on my Instagram last night (link here by the way if you want to follow me over there), but something I do constantly struggle with is making sure I am interacting with enough other humans and making sure I still get my alone quiet time. It’s a balance I’m yet to work out, but some days I do have it nailed which feels good. I’ve got a chilled day planned for today though which I know will do me well and I’m working tomorrow which always makes me feel nice and productive!

I’m posting less online this summer, purely for the reason that I don’t have that much to say or put out there. I feel like I’m having kind of a little summer break, and when Autumn comes I know I’ll feel refreshed and renewed, ready to post more and put myself out there (hopefully)

Anyway, enough of my ramblings, I hope you liked this honest check-in post and let me know if you’d like me to keep them coming every now and again.

How’s life with you?

 

Here’s some short (ish) reviews of good books I’ve read recently…

Never Greener- 5/5

I love love loved this book. It’s one I still think about now even though I’ve read nearly 10 books since. It’s all about romantic relationships and just how complex and challenging they can really be. It kept me hooked all the way through and I totally didn’t want it to end. Highly highly recommend!!!

Where’d You Go Bernadette- 4/5

I wasn’t sure what to expect picking this up, and even when I finished it I still wasn’t exactly sure on what happened, but I just had to keep reading because it was so interesting and unique. I know there’s a film coming out based on the book, which I definitely want to see. It’s a book I can’t really describe, and if you’ve read it before, you’ll probably understand me.

Maybe This Time- 4/5

I love anything Jill Mansell writes, so I knew I would enjoy this when I started it and it didn’t disapoint! Not as fluffy and light as you might imagine it would be, but a really lovely story with characters you totally root for and instantly warm to. I flew through this and looked forward to reading it every night.

The Cactus 4-5

I bought this book based on the Reese Witherspoon book club stamp of approval. It probably wouldn’t of been something I’ve of chosen originally, but I really enjoyed it. If I had to sum this book up I’d say it was exactly what I hoped Eleanor Ophilant would be, but wasn’t- for me anyway.

 

Here’s what I’m reading next…

Sweet Sorrow, by David Nicholls. I loved One Day, as heart-breaking as it was, so I’m really looking forward to what this book might bring.

 

What have you read recently? I’m always looking out for book recommendations!

 

 

 

I know we’re already into August, but I wanted to share my goals for the month anyway. I didn’t set any goals for July so given the circumstances, I’m easing myself in gently with a few small goals I would like to achieve.

#1 Develop a better sleep routine. I’ve been working on this for a few weeks already, but I’m not there yet. I’m currently struggling with grief, so that obviously isn’t helping my sleeping schedule, but I’ve been putting my phone away for at least an hour while I read my book and I notice a big difference in the quality of sleep I get.

#2 Go through my wardrobe. My wardrobe is looking quite the state recently, and I know it will make me feel so much better when I’ve sorted it out. I want to give a few bags to charity, and tidy the area that is currently looking SUCH a mess.

#3 Take it a day at a time. Like I said earlier, I’m not going through the best of times. Taking it one day a time makes things feel a little more managable, and getting anything done in a day is better than nothing, no matter how small it is.

 

Do you have any goals for August?

 

Grief. 

I am unbelievably lucky that this isn’t an emotion I’ve felt as an adult before. I know how privileged I am to say that.

But with that, comes the complete and utter shock of just how powerful, and all encompassing it really is.  

It’s a side of life I am experiencing for the first time in a lot of ways, and the physical and emotional pain is something I truly didn’t know existed. 

I’m a member of a club I never wanted to join. 

It’s like a scene in a film when a character is sat on the bathroom floor howling with raw heartbreak, expect its real, and its you. 

At times, it feels like something I’ll never get over. 

But one thing I’m learning, is how grief comes in waves. It hits you in the stomach and literally sends you to your knees. 

For me, the only way out is through. I know feeling these emotions are healthy, and I want to do that for the sake of my own health. Sometimes for moments, minutes, or even hours, grief subsides.  It leaves you alone to rest and be and live and learn. 

And then it starts to come back, and you go through the cycle again. I am extremely thankful that as a family, we are so strong and can all find such a huge support in one another. It is truly heartbreaking, but we go through it all together and find comfort, that we all feel the same right now. 

This is only the beginning of my grief journey. Im sure it will be one that will teach me lots of things, and show me a strength I never knew I had. 

Until the next time,

xx