As someone who has suffered with severe anxiety I thought I would write this post for anyone out there, who is wondering how to help their loved one on their own journey, just incase you need it. This is only my advice.

 

NO JUDGEMENT

This comes first and foremost to me, because sometimes (well, most times I think) mental health cannot be controlled. They are not acting like this ON PURPOSE. I think many who haven’t had experience in this area think some of it may be attention seeking, or wanting their own way. But trust me, there is no way ANYONE would put themselves through any of this for personal gain. So please try to leave your judgement at the door. It will make it easier for everyone.

ATTENTION

This may differ to everyone, but I know for me, when I have had low days with anxiety I need extra attention from those around me. I need to *feel* supported and looked after. I kind of go back into baby mode (but to be fair, I’ve never left far!)  I get that this requires more of everyone, but if they love you and you explain that you this is what you need to feel a little better, they will help you. Whether thats a few more cuddles in each day, taking care of your dinner, or doing a bit more around the house, it can all add up.

POSITIVITY + AN ACTION PLAN

In my life in general, I like to be surrounded by positive people and energy. Luckily, my mum is one of the most positive people I know. If I’ve had a panic attack, or feeling all mixed up with my emotions, we sit. We talk about it. We find a positive outcome. If its due to something that’s stressing me and making me anxious, how can we make this easier for me? If I’m in a bad mood, why am I feeling like this, have I had enough sleep? Am I taking all my vitamins etc? Creating an action plan with positive steps to move forward with, always makes me feel better. Just make sure you don’t put this across as ‘fixing’ the anxiety! Only creating small baby steps working towards a goal you both think is achievable.

I hope this may of helped you when supporting someone you know who needs it! <3

 

Writing these kind of posts always feel really therapeutic to me. It’s like I have all these thoughts jumbled around my head and putting them into words on a page makes me feel better about things.

With all that in mind, I wanted to talk about over-thinking. 

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This is something I’ve done forever. So much so, it feels natural to me. It was only once my other half said ‘why do you even think about these things’ that I realised that maybe, it wasn’t a good thing!

If I’m anxious about a certain thing coming up, chances are I will lose sleep, predict what will happen and imagine dramatic scenarios for about 2 weeks PRIOR. What a waste of useful energy to harbour.

AND then went the actual event comes up? I’ve built it up SOSO much in my head that it feels about 100x the thing it should be.

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Don’t get me wrong its SUPER hard to stop old habits, but lately when thoughts have been appearing about my anxieties, I’ve STOPPED, took a deep breath and tried to live in the moment. After all, this present moment is the only thing we can be sure about! <3

I’m not perfect at it, but I’m trying.

 

 

Do you suffer with overthinking?

 

 

I wanted to write this post as I don’t think its talked about enough. It kind of ties in with comparison, especially in the blogging world. You see what you call a ‘successful’ blog, and expect the same number of followers as she does, to work with the same brands. The problem with expectation is it doesn’t take into consideration, hard work. You don’t know her story, or how long her blog has been going. So don’t compare. Don’t expect. Just work hard on your OWN goals. Make them personal to you, and strive towards them! We all have our own journey.

 

 

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In other ways, when you expect something from someone, and you don’t get it, you fall into such a disappointed state. Whether thats with a loved one or a person at work, your expectations and over-thinking got you to such a high-elated mood, of course there’s only one way down. If you HADN’T gone this far, you would more than likely just be happy with what ended up. Trying to ‘guess’ never works.

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Expectation has definitely got me good a few times. But now I’m trying to live in the moment and enjoy whats surrounding me RIGHT NOW, it hasn’t seemed to bother me at all.

 

What do you guys think to expectations? Lets have a discussion in the comments below!

xxx

 

When I recently did a post all about my anxiety, a few people asked if I would go into further detail about my experience with private therapy. So here’s that post!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I really count counselling as a major part of making me feel better. I did go to the free service that is on the NHS, but I was only offered a quick 6 week course, and although it kind of touched the basics and gave me certain exercises to do, I didn’t get that personal one-to-one feeling and support that I truly needed. I kind of felt that I was just a number.

 

We, (me and my mum) decided to look for a private counsellor near us and we found one, thanks to Google. We of course throughly checked this person out and made sure she had the correct qualifications etc. Let me just state: They are not cheap. It was from memory just over £50 an hour. Which I know is so expensive, but if it works for your recovery, is there any better thing to invest in than your mind? I don’t think so.

The first session I was literally a bag of nerves. Opening up your innermost feelings to a complete (albeit qualified) stranger is terrifying. It’s very ironic getting anxious to see somebody who is helping you with your anxiety! After the first session I warmed up very easily, and we began working through what led to my anxiety, thought patterns behind this, what was realistic or what my mind had exaggerated etc.

 

This was also what sparked my love for self-care books as her room was full of them! She let me borrow some too to read in my own time which was lovely. I learnt so much about myself in these sessions that I’m not sure I would of discovered at this stage in my life, if I hadn’t of had them.

 

There are so so many different techniques that I learned from my time with her, that I couldn’t possibly recite every single one here, nor do them justice. We worked together for about 3 months every week or so, until we both felt that I could manage my anxiety by myself with the tips and knowledge I had learned.

But if you read this wondering if it was worth all the time and money? ABSOLUTELY. Would I go back in the future if needs be? DEFINITELY. 

 

I truly believe just as there are doctors out there to help our bodies, there is also people out there which can help our minds. 

 

If you are suffering with anxiety or any other mental health issues, please speak to a professional or someone close to you. They really do help!

 

READ

I always find reading is the perfect way for me to switch off and stop scrolling into the late hours. I obviously prefer to read in book form, I’ve just finished Big Little Lies which was awesome! Seriously recommend a read. I do also read on the kindle app on my iPhone which is not as good for relaxation but I try to go on airplane mode to avoid any social media temptation!

JOURNAL

I write in my journal every night, whether that’s what I’ve been doing today, what I’m feeling, or simply listing things I’m grateful for. I find this really ‘finishes’ the day off and sets a great tone to go to bed thinking positively, and not getting wound up over all the things you need to do the next day.

SLEEP SPRAY

The thing that makes me totally nod off, is this sleep spray by Neom. It also literally zonks my boyfriend off to sleep too, not that he complains! I’m pretty sensitive to scent, but I find two sprays totally fine and doesn’t give me a headache. Fortunately for us I also have a back up of this as its nearly out!

What makes you go zzzz?