Forgive me for sounding like the ending of a One Tree Hill episode, but I believe we all have defining moments in life.

Moments that shape us, that cause us to grow, moments that seem like pinnacle parts of our lives that were supposed to happen.

One of those defining moments for me, was definitely not being able to enter the room where I signed up for university.

That might sound strange, but if you have anxiety issues, you should get where I’m coming from. When I couldn’t force myself to walk in, sit down, and start a brand new life of alone, already having panic attacks and commuting 1 hour away from home, I knew it would be a moment in my life that I would look back on, and hopefully not regret.

And I truly don’t. I got help with my anxiety, and a degree in Accountancy to follow. I knew deep down university life wasn’t for me, but I followed the crowd, and fortunately, backed out at the very last minute (my student loan had even gone through at this point I think, don’t worry they got it all back.).

Another moment that stands out so far in my life, was the first time I tried meditation.

It was something that I was interested in as soon as I heard about it, and I can recall the feeling of absolute peace I felt after I connected with my body, mind and soul for only 10 minutes.

I knew it was going to be a huge part of my life and something that strengthens me, calms me, and is there when I need it. I’ve meditated every day for about 2 years now.

The last moment I want to chat about is, rather soppy.

Its when I first met my boyfriend (well, fiancé). It’s not me being dramatic when I really did think I would be single forever. I was burnt badly from a previous relationship and didn’t want history to repeat itself. But like in all the books and movies say, it came out of nowhere, and when we met I just knew he would be in my life for a reason. It would drive me crazy when people said ‘you will just know’ when you meet The One. But its actually so true, and the best way of putting it.

 

Do you have any defining moments? If you don’t feel like sharing private details if the comments, just put ‘Yes!’ 🙂 xxx

 

 

 

 

 

I should of added the word ‘try’ in the title of this post because sometimes there is no prevention to panic attacks. They just happen.

However for me, they usually occur due to certain situations, which is how I know I can prevent or manage them when they come along.

There are of course, certain situations that I don’t even enter because I know for a matter of a fact, they will happen. But in some instances I can use different techniques and tricks I’ve learned, to make the whole situation a bit better.

 

PLAN

If you know you have something coming up that may occur anxiety or panic attacks, your best bet is definitely planning and preparing for what to do if you have any of those funny feelings.

Sometimes they happen whilst I’m driving in the car with someone else as a passenger, so whilst I drove to Edinburgh with my boyfriend, I had my headphones and podcast episodes ready, so I knew if I needed it I could just plug in and take my mind off feeling anxious whilst my boyfriend could still listen to the radio if he wanted.

If you usually experience them on public transport or crowds for example, take your headphones on your journey with you and download a new album or audiobook to listen to.

USE YOUR SENSES + MIND TECHNIQUES

My therapist taught me all about how the five senses are great at bringing your mind back to the present moment, and can help you in stressful moments.

I personally carry a rollerball with me containing a calming scent, that I like to use to zen out a bit. Sometimes even just thinking about what you’re doing later that day or what you’re eating for your tea really brings you back to perspective and make you realise theres more than just the ‘moment’ you are currently in.

KNOW YOUR LIMITS

This one is probably the most important, because its YOU that has to take control and make sure you are acting in your own best interests.

Like I said earlier, some situations I won’t even enter if needs be, because I know I’m not set out for them. If you have social anxiety, make sure that along with going out of your comfort zone, you don’t try to do TOO many things at once. Slow and steady is great progress. Always try to remember how far you’ve come.

I hope these tips were helpful to you if you needed them! xx

 

 

I’m in one of those moods where I feel a bit low and deflated today. For no reason whatsoever. Aren’t they great?

With that in mind I had the *genius* 😉 idea to compile a list of all the things I do that cheer me up when I’m having a down day.

  • Buying myself flowers. Especially when I get a great deal of peonies for only £3. Aldi, you win.
  • Letting myself eat whatever I want. Which is usually some form of comfort food, and letting that be OKAY. Heck, If I want chocolate, I’m having it, today of all days.
  • Spending time with my family. I love my alone time but when I’m not feeling as great as usual, I prefer to be surrounded by my loved ones. I think it makes me feel less lonely.
  • Cuddling my dog. I do this 98% of the time anyway, but he is just the cutest thing and never fails to make me smile.
  • Immersing myself in ‘something else’. Whether thats watching my favourite Youtubers or reading a book/new magazine, it always brings a bit of s p a c e between me and those shitty feelings.
  • Lighting a candle.
  • Putting on T Swift and having a sing along.
  • Thinking about all the things I like about myself, whether thats me feeling my bone structure that day, or how far I’ve come from.
  • Watching an episode of an old TV show, for comfort reasons. F.R.I.E.N.D.S anyone?

 

I would love to know what cheers you up when you’re having a down day?

As someone who has suffered with severe anxiety I thought I would write this post for anyone out there, who is wondering how to help their loved one on their own journey, just incase you need it. This is only my advice.

 

NO JUDGEMENT

This comes first and foremost to me, because sometimes (well, most times I think) mental health cannot be controlled. They are not acting like this ON PURPOSE. I think many who haven’t had experience in this area think some of it may be attention seeking, or wanting their own way. But trust me, there is no way ANYONE would put themselves through any of this for personal gain. So please try to leave your judgement at the door. It will make it easier for everyone.

ATTENTION

This may differ to everyone, but I know for me, when I have had low days with anxiety I need extra attention from those around me. I need to *feel* supported and looked after. I kind of go back into baby mode (but to be fair, I’ve never left far!)  I get that this requires more of everyone, but if they love you and you explain that you this is what you need to feel a little better, they will help you. Whether thats a few more cuddles in each day, taking care of your dinner, or doing a bit more around the house, it can all add up.

POSITIVITY + AN ACTION PLAN

In my life in general, I like to be surrounded by positive people and energy. Luckily, my mum is one of the most positive people I know. If I’ve had a panic attack, or feeling all mixed up with my emotions, we sit. We talk about it. We find a positive outcome. If its due to something that’s stressing me and making me anxious, how can we make this easier for me? If I’m in a bad mood, why am I feeling like this, have I had enough sleep? Am I taking all my vitamins etc? Creating an action plan with positive steps to move forward with, always makes me feel better. Just make sure you don’t put this across as ‘fixing’ the anxiety! Only creating small baby steps working towards a goal you both think is achievable.

I hope this may of helped you when supporting someone you know who needs it! <3

 

Writing these kind of posts always feel really therapeutic to me. It’s like I have all these thoughts jumbled around my head and putting them into words on a page makes me feel better about things.

With all that in mind, I wanted to talk about over-thinking. 

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This is something I’ve done forever. So much so, it feels natural to me. It was only once my other half said ‘why do you even think about these things’ that I realised that maybe, it wasn’t a good thing!

If I’m anxious about a certain thing coming up, chances are I will lose sleep, predict what will happen and imagine dramatic scenarios for about 2 weeks PRIOR. What a waste of useful energy to harbour.

AND then went the actual event comes up? I’ve built it up SOSO much in my head that it feels about 100x the thing it should be.

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Don’t get me wrong its SUPER hard to stop old habits, but lately when thoughts have been appearing about my anxieties, I’ve STOPPED, took a deep breath and tried to live in the moment. After all, this present moment is the only thing we can be sure about! <3

I’m not perfect at it, but I’m trying.

 

 

Do you suffer with overthinking?