If you read this post, you will know that I (well, ‘we’) missed out on our holidays this year due to my fear of flying. This isn’t a fear where you simply just ‘don’t like it’ but can still go ahead and force yourself to do it, it’s a fear that swallows you up completely and there isn’t any part of you that thinks you can fight against it, and win.
Also, I know it’s not rational. I’m not sure if it stems from overthinking and anxiety, to a fear of falling or even death, but I know that I need help to control it. At this moment in time, it’s winning. Heck, we’ve missed 3 holidays this year that we had already paid for and even went through airport secretary for. Those times were so heart-breaking and really were the lowest that this situation could go. I’m also so thankful to have Dan who is so understanding, even in the hardest of circumstances.
After staying home this summer whilst the rest of my family were having fun abroad, I knew something had to change. I really don’t want to live the rest of my life stuck in one country, whilst missing out on all the places in the world I want to see, the sunsets I want to witness, the foods I want to try, the cultures I want to experience, with my own eyes. I could never live with myself knowing that I denied this for not only myself, but for my future husband too.
The only person who can do this is me.
I’m going to book myself on a fear of flying course that has the practical element of the flight in it, and I hope it’s the next step for me to live the life I want. I know that it’s not going to be easy, and it’s very simple to say all of this when I’m feeling strong, but it’s in those weak moments I pray that I remember these words, and have the courage to fly. It’s not going to be easy, but boy is it going to be worth it.
My favourite quotes about fear:
- Never trust your fears, they don’t know about your strength.
- Do what scares you until it doesn’t.
- Don’t believe everything you think.
- False Evidence Appearing Real.
- May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.
Have you ever faced your fear?