WHY WE NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT ‘WHAT IFS’

 

I’m a massive ‘what if’ kind of person. I’ve always been a very deep thinker, but over the last few months that seems to of been magnified and I can spend days, even weeks thinking about how a situation could of been worse, or imagining a scenario that makes me stop living life the way I want to.

This is something I’m working on,  so I wanted to share what I’m focusing on to combat this incase you needed it too.

 

It doesn’t change anything

Worrying doesn’t change a situation. We all know this of course, but we still do daily. Not only is it a massive waste of our valid time, but it also affects our bodies and minds negatively. We break out, we lose sleep, our bodies feel stressed and anxious. It can damage our relationships and our general wellbeing if we let it get to that stage.

None of these things have to happen, and they won’t if you change this thinking pattern.

Instead, be pro-active about the things you can change. If a work situation or relationship issue is causing you stress, address this in the best way you see fit so it can be let go of. You don’t need to carry it around with you. Once you have found a solution, you can be free from it.

 

You can’t control life

For someone who loves control, admitting this is scary and leaves me feeling vulnerable. But it’s SO true. There is a no rule-book for life, you don’t know what’s going to happen, and not everything is in your control.

Accepting this fact will make your life so much easier, and you will feel more liberated. ‘We can’t control the waves, but we can adjust our sails’.

People have influence- Don’t spend too long around dwellers!

I’m sure we all know a few Negative Nancys. Sometimes they can feel like a drain to be around if everyone you meet they tell a tale of woe, never mind how they never even ask how YOU are!

The company we keep is detrimental to our mental health, so make sure you surrond yourself with positive and inspiring, enthusiastic people. That way you don’t come away from feeling drained, and stuck in a loop of negativity.

And if you can’t cut all ties completely, remember that their thoughts do not have to be yours. You are the only person who can control how you live, and if you want that to be positively, it can be. It’s your decision.

Do you every worry about ‘what if’?

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  • Great post. I’m naturally such a worrier and I have to have a stern word with myself when I start getting overly stressed, especially if it’s over situations I have no control over! x

    http://www.katieleanne.co.uk

    • Me too, sometimes its hard to let go but it makes you feel so much better afterwards! x

  • “What If” is, sadly, a big presence in my life – after pausing my university study for health reasons, i often dwelled on what could have been if i continued/ where i might be now. However, i now try to look on the flip-side – without that break, i many not have done my primary school experience and subsequently applied for a PGCE! I also wouldnt have done the module i just finished, since returning, as they didn’t offer it two years ago.

    So while i do still see the shadow of “what if”, i always try to find the silver linings in any situation. Loved this post, thank-you <3

    Bumble and Be

    • That’s amazing, and I love that you’ve turned it round to a positive, that’s something to be thankful for in itself I think. xxx

  • Courtney Hardy

    I always use what ifs, and it really gets to me. I really need to have the mindset that life is life, and i can’t change it completely.
    http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/

  • Wonderful advice! I’m definitely in the what if club – But like you, try to work on it each day. Love how your blog is looking too. Xxx

    Bestest wishes,

    Love Milly ~
    Keep calm and start writing –
    http://www.23millymay25.blogspot.com

  • I totally agree! Have to stop living in the past.

    Candice | beautycandyloves.co.za

  • Such a great read! I worry and overthink so much. It is mainly worries of the unknown and all those what ifs. It can be so hard to work on, but such a relief once you do manage to change your thought process xx

    Lauren | itslaurenvictoria.blogspot.co.uk

  • Shannon

    Can definitely relate to what you’re talking about! I tend to overthink and daydream and forget to live in the moment. I’m learning more and more about mindfulness, which is helping to change the way I think.

    Shann Eileen | http://www.shanneileen.com

    • Thanks so much for reading Shannon, I hope your journey on mindfulness is going well!

  • I definitely experience these thoughts so this is really helpful – thank you for sharing 🙂 x

    Alice // The Rose Glow

    • So glad you enjoyed the post Alice! Thank you for reading 🙂

  • This is something I do a lot. Always thinking “what if I’d done this” or “what if i’d said that”. It’s all so silly isn’t it! Lovely post Natalie ☺️ Glad to know it’s not just me xx

    • Definitely not just you lovely, I think we all have moments of it!

  • Amy Eade

    Oh gawd, I always think ‘what if’ but it’s so bad because you’re right, I can’t change anything!
    Amy xx
    callmeamy.co.uk

    • At least recognising it is the first step to changing our mindset! 🙂

  • I absolutely agree with this post! I tend to overthink everything and ask myself a lot of “what if” questions, which is not very productive. I’ve decided to try to change it recently, hope I manage to do that!

    http://waytoneverland.com/

  • I’ve been trying to think more mindfully about my thoughts lately and I definitely have anxiety over things that might never happen. I’ve been trying to recognise these “thinking errors” and although it’s a hard concept hopefully I’ve reduced my worrying slightly and that is a positive step! xx