As I’m writing this, I’m not having the best weekend of my life. Struck down with a virus is not fun, and it’s making me realise that actually, I’m not as good at sick days as I thought as a teenager (who didn’t love a duvet day when you could cosy up at home instead of school?)
In my head, I like to think I can use that time at home to read, meditate, and get lots of self-care time in. However, it’s never quite that poetic is it?
I’ve realised how bad I am at slowing down. And I don’t mean this as I’m a super busy girl boss, because realistically, I’m not. But I do do enough for myself and my life, needs, wants, etc. And I like it that way.
But when it comes to doing NOTHING? Nope, not down for that.
Especially when you’re stuck at home. I want to get fresh air. I need to clean the worktops (or so I think). And even though it makes me feel productive when I’m sick, it doesn’t help heal me back to full health.
Just today I’m yoga-ed, meditated, took the dog out for a walk, ironed, cleaned the floors, done the washing, took and edited 2 instagram photos and wrote this blog post. Whilst feeling super guilty that I don’t have the energy to do as much as I think I should.
Tonight I’m going to try doing nothing.
Have a hot bath, scroll on my phone and enjoy it, maybe read some of my magazine if I want to. And just CHILL.
Why is doing nothing so hard? Why does it make us feel guilty? I’m sure there’s a lot of digging I need to do here, but at least realising it is in some way making progress to untying these beliefs!