WHAT I LEARNT FROM BEING SINGLE

flower in hand

 

I feel like I’m definitely qualified to talk about being single, as before I met Dan I only had a few short previous relationships and was single for four years. I’ve thought back to my old single lifestyle and wanted to share what I learnt (and there was a LOT of learning)…

YOU WORK OUT WHAT YOU WANT (IN A PARTNER)

Every failed relationship taught me how I wanted to be treated by my future husband (I wasn’t messing around here, guys. I didn’t want to go on loads of dates, I wanted to meet ‘The One’).

I worked out the qualities that I will not settle on, and the things that I thought would bother me that actually didn’t, that much. Sure manners are super important, but having the exact same interests as you? Not that essential really. There was definitely a part of ‘single life’ that I enjoyed, and I knew I didn’t want to give that up for somebody who wasn’t right for me. It turns out check-lists are completely pointless, bin them immediately. I had an extremely long one, and looking back it turns out Dan is in some ways a complete opposite of what I once thought was ‘crucial’.

 I FOUND MYSELF

So cheesy, but oh so true. I spent so much time alone that it was in those years that I discovered what kind of person I wanted to be, what things I believed in, and what people I wanted to surround myself with.

Being single really is your time to indulge in yourself and I didn’t hold back. I thought back on past experiences a lot and learned when I was in the wrong, and when I wasn’t as strong willed as I should of been. You can’t re-do your past experiences, but you can use them as what to do if something similar happens again.

 

FAMILY IS KEY

I’ve always been very family orientated, but whilst going through a very messy break-up, I couldn’t of done it without my family. Whether that was my Dad just giving me a hug when I got upset, or my mum going on a walk with me everyday to get some fresh air, I relied on my loved ones very heavily, and they helped me survive the heartbreak so so much. Family are just the best.

 

LOVE IS SO UNEXPECTED

The old cliche is true, love always happens when you least expect it. I had given up trying to find ‘The One’ as I didn’t want to go out and go clubbing to find an other half as that’s not something I genuinely enjoy. What would be the point in going drinking, meeting someone and then explaining ‘oh, I actually don’t drink’. I left it up to the universe. When Dan came along I decided to rip up the rulebook, and be the first one to contact him instead of waiting to see if he would contact me. It worked and now here we are, engaged and happily living together. My top tip would be always follow your instincts, they will very rarely lead you astray.

 

Did you learn anything whilst you were single?

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  • I’ve never been in a relationship but I will take your advice on working out what I want in a partner. I’ve have not thought about it till now!

    Sarah | What Sarah Writes

    • Aw well I’m glad I gave you some food for thought! xx

  • Family is definitely important you release that more when you are single

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

  • It is so true that love always comes along when you least expect it and you will always find someone out there who is right for you. How did you and Dan meet? xx

    Frances Kayleigh | Fashion Beauty Lifestyle

    • He is a joiner and he did some work at our house! I contacted him on Facebook and just said he seemed like a nice guy! Haha, it sounds a bit far fetched but I just had a good feeling about him x

  • Love this post Natalie! I agree with the whole finding yourself part, I’ve been single for around about 4 years now, mainly because there’s just been so much going on over the years that I’ve wanted to focus on getting myself in a good place and working on different things! 🙂 x

    Kayleigh | anenthusiasmfor.co.uk

    • That sounds perfect for you! Sometimes you just need time to yourself to work out what you want in the future! xx

  • Amy Eade

    It’s so true that love comes along when you least expect it – I was actually looking forward to being single for a while when I met Nick haha!
    Amy xx
    http://www.callmeamy.co.uk

  • Diana Maria

    Aw what a lovely post Natalie. I feel like this is me right now, there are many aspects of being single that I enjoy, and I’d like to go on dates to meet people, but I have no expectations on finding the one, or anyone close to that.

    Family is the best, thank goodness for them, they are the best in times of a break up and I relied on mine so much too. It gives me hope to know you were able to find your other half 🙂

    Sending light & love your way,

    My Lovelier Days

    • Dates sound fun! Is it bad I’ve never really been on one? I am sure you will find a partner in the future, when the time is totally right for you 🙂 xxx

  • Great post!

    LoneTeenTraveller | Travel Fashion Lifestyle